my mouth tastes like poor choices
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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