Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
