what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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