I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
