i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
