I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
