I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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