They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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