A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
