Ambien. No doubt about it.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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