windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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