She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
