dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
