he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
