ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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