'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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