Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
