You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
