Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize