I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
