yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
