Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
