Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
