So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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