Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
