The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
