Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We don't watch enough power rangers
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
