there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
