Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
