you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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