i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
