this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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