It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
