His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My vagina just recognized that song.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
