Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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