My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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