I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I need to calm my uterus...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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