I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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