I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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