I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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