Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
