so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
