why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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