How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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