based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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