oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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