I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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