I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
