i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
