two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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