we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
