She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
