so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
