he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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