Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize