And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
