I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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