shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
