This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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