i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
