why didn't you poke me back
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize