if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
