so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
