Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
