I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
