i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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