If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
tell me about the fingering
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